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'T’was the night before Christmas, the
trap was well set.
Not a blackguard had dared to show their face yet.
A noose hung on the gallows (pirates beware)
In hopes that Jack Sparrow soon would be there.
The presents were wrapped, all tidy and right
Just waiting for brigands to show up tonight.
Gillette was on duty, Groves was on leave.
Oh!. What a tangled web did I weave.
When out in the courtyard figures flit through the shadows.
And the guards on patrol both hollered, “Who goes?”
Away to the window I flew like a flash.
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
“It’s the cat!” I yelled to the guards, “Go
away!”
Lest they spy what just ‘hove to’ in the bay.
For what to my now gladdened eyes should appear,
But a bold Jolly Roger; clearly no privateer.
A proud ship she was, an elegant girl.
I knew in a moment, it was the Black Pearl.
More stealthy than burglars his corsairs they came.
I grinned and did gloat as he called them by name.
“Here Cotton, here Marty, Anamaria and Gibbs,
There’s presents for all; but I get first dibs.
To the top of the fort! Away down the wall!
Now sneak away, creep away, steal away all.”
As the rats and the mice when the cat is away,
Run through the house nibbling things for the next day,
So away with their plunder went the Black Pearl’s crew.
They took all the presents and the wassail bowl too.
And then in a twinkling, I heard at my back,
Such prancing and mincing, I knew it was Jack.
As I drew back my head and was turning around,
‘Cross the room, buckling and swashing, Sparrow came with
a bound.
He was covered in tar from his hands to his boot.
And I knew he would rob me, then make off with his loot.
A bundle of swag he held in both arms,
I should do my duty and raise the alarms.
But his eyes—how they twinkled. (Ha! Next to me he is tiny.)
His hair all in dreds, his gold teeth all shiny.
His droll little song celebrats pirate deeds.
And the braids of his beard were both full of beads.
As he laughed, making fun of my dressing gown.
He staggered so much I feared he’d fall down.
He wore his old coat, and his nice leather hat.
I did indeed wonder just where he stole that.
He swayed and he swaggered, then righted himself.
And swiped all the knickknacks I had on the shelf.
A wink of his eye and the point of his sword.
Soon gave me to know I must not speak a word.
I watch silent and pleased while he did his work.
He prefers stealing his presents, the scallywag jerk,
Then, giving a swift sword swat to my bum,
He downed half a bottle of Jamaican rum.
Then ran to his ship, crew already aboard.
And away they all sailed, to divide up their hoard.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he sailed out the bay.
“Thanks ever so, Commodore, ye’ve made Christmas day.”
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